A Few Helpful Tips on Teaching Our Little Girls to Embrace Their Natural Hair
Teaching
our young girls to embrace their natural hair may be harder for some than
others and it can be a learning process for you as well as your daughter. It
all depends on what they are used to seeing and what their personal experience
with hair is. Yes, I said their personal experience with hair. Even as young as
3 years old our little girls have their own personal experience with hair which
is what has been instilled in them. What types of styles are they used to
seeing? What type of texture do they see in their mothers and older sibling’s
hair every day? When someone says “my hair is done” What does it look like to
your little girl? Is it a big kinky Afro? Is it freshly pressed out? Is your
hair down your back in weave? However you answer those questions is your little
girl’s personal experience with hair. It always begins right at home with what
they see.
If
your little girl sees bone straight flat ironed hair or long weave and hear
things like “my hair is nappy, I need a fresh flat iron” or “I need a fresh
perm” then of course she is going to feel like her natural curls are “nappy”
and is not going to accept her natural hair. When she’s older, it is more
likely that, that is how she will feel her hair should look. She will feel like
her hair is “not done” while it is in a curly or Afro state but that is not her
fault, that is the only hair experience that she has had. If your little girl
is used to seeing an Afro or kinky styles on her mother everyday- those will be
the styles she will want for herself.
One of
the best things you can do for your little girl is to eliminate the word
“nappy” from your vocabulary especially when it comes to her hair. Instead of
saying nappy tell her that her hair is kinky or really curly and that it is
beautiful but sometimes gets tangled. Even if her hair is difficult for you to
manage never associate any negative words with her hair. Once you learn the
best techniques for detangling and managing her hair you will not even feel the
need to call her hair nappy and you will feel better as well. Remember, this is
all a learning process for you as well as your daughter.
You
can also read books specifically aimed for girls of color with natural hair. I
have quite a few for my 3 year old daughter but one of our favorites is titled
“I Love My Hair” by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley with illustrations by E.B. Lewis.
It is a great read that touches on managing her hair and also styling it. It
gives her many different perspectives on how beautiful her hair and heritage is
and the illustrations are fun and keep her attention. You can find it online
for $5-10.
Of course once your little girl begins school or have
interactions with kids of other ethnicities with different texture hair they
may wonder why their hair isn't that way. It is completely normal for them to
wonder. When she brings it up to you take the opportunity to explain why she
has her hair texture and you can even touch on your culture at the same time-
turn it into a history lesson. Make her proud of her hair so that when she sees
other hair types she is still comfortable and confident with her own kinky
texture.
There are many things you can do to teach your little girl
to embrace her natural hair but the most effective is making sure you are
adhering to the lessons that you are teaching to make for a great example for
your daughter! Remember to remove the word “nappy” from your vocabulary and try
not to use any negative language while styling her hair or referring to her
hair. Also, there are many books tailored to different ages to help girls of
color identify with their natural hair so be sure to take advantage of all your
resources. It may take some time but surely your little one will begin to LOVE
her natural hair!
-Telearamaine
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